Ode to the Witty

I've always admired witty people; those who can pull out some perfectly crafted, sharp line on call. It's kind of an art-form, wit. And it's definitely not something that can be learned... To always be "on the ball" as they say, is an awesome talent. You have to be completely balanced and totally aware of what's going on around you. I can't carry a cup of tea from the kitchen to my bedroom without pouring it down my front.

I think I've developed a bit of a complex about this. I so want to be that person. And every time I realise something has slipped past me - which has happened more times than I'd like to admit - I want to kick myself in the face.

I've often listened silently as these marvellous creatures work; observed as they construct their verbal masterpieces, all the while exuding this aura of, I don't know... knowingness, I guess it must be. I stare, blank-faced, probably drooling out the corner of my unmoving mouth - in awe. I think nothing is so impressive as someone who has their wits about them.

Meet-cute

Ever had a day, or even just a moment, that felt like it was out of a movie script?

I know I've had a ton. I've had experiences that were "so Seinfeld," or right out of Sex and the City. I swear, I've even had a few days that resembled Twilight.

The other afternoon a 'friend' of mine - who i'll leave unnamed simply because this story is a little embarrassing - was coming home from uni and as she walked down the congested street, she saw four or so bright blue tee-shirts up ahead. She didn't need to read the branding on their shirts to recognise who they were. Passersby were gravitating in the opposite direction with their heads facing the ground, and would fling their phones to their ear as soon as a blue tee-shirt stepped toward them with an extended hand. They were charity workers, recruiting advocates for their cause. My friend, picked up her uni reader and glued her eyes to the text, reading one line over and over, glancing ahead only to stay aware of the human traffic rushing about her. She passed the first three tee-shirts unnoticed, but just as she went to past the last of the four, a hand was shoved in front of her chest and an English accent asked "Hi, how are you today?"

Fuck

She took the English hand. And turned to face its owner, saying a sloppy "Hhhyeah i'm good," as she tried to think of an excuse to leave. The guy asked her if she knew what the largest killer of children in Africa was. She didn't. He explained that is was diarrhoea, as a result of unclean water, and went on to tell her about the sub-standard living conditions of these children. Mid-way through his speech she looked up at his face and noticed he had these beautiful, clear blue eyes. Maybe three minutes later, she was signing up for daily donations.